Quit The Pity Party – Here’s Why You’re Better Off Being Single

Being single is not a crisis. Quite the opposite, actually. This can be a time to nurture the relationship that matters the most – the one with yourself! Instead of dreading your single status during the ‘month of love’, slay back with an improved love for your space, self and worth.

The month of love, too soon after barely recovering from debt piled up the month before, is upon us! Everywhere you go, it stinks of romance. Your friends will not stop talking about how they plan to spend the 14th with bae. They’ve tried hooking you up several times, to no avail. They’ve even tried convincing you to join a dating site but you point blank refused. Sadly, they are not aware that you’ve been on a dating site. And, well…

Right now they can’t squeeze your sad dating life in their hectic Valentine’s Day planning. They want this fraudulent day to be super special and the pressure is mounting. They may be genuinely there for you but man… there’s just no time for your blues right now. It’s V-month baby! Candlelit dinners, gifts and lots of lovey dovey stuff that requires quite a hefty budget.

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Tips on how to shower him or her with gifts on the day are not in short supply, actually. We are hounded by adverts preying on those in relationships – and that seems to be everyone but you. And maybe, this is the third Valentine’s Day you’re to spend without ‘the one’.

But have you stopped to think that spending the day without an ‘other one’ may be granting you the rare opportunity to find time to spend with The One – yourself?

Therein lies the gift and delight of fab singlehood! You are single? Cool! Whatever.

Most of us are not aware of the opportunities singlehood brings us to fall in love and work on the relationships that matter the most – ones with ourselves. Although being alone can be disheartening and sometimes downright boring in moments when you crave some romantic company from someone else, it does not have to be the aweful experience we often make it out to be.

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Our issue with being single often comes from places far removed from a genuine spark we may have stumbled upon with someone. Rather, the perception that a relationship will add something to the self and make us happy because that’s just how things are, is what replicates the false notion of romance with someone as a must. The real crisis lies in the inability to find true joy and contentment with the way things are.

It is very much possible to start looking at the absence of a relationship as OKAY.  Despite the efforts of your well meaning friends who want you to experience the bliss that they claim exists in their relationships, being single is no medical condition. Stop looking at yourself as broken and unworthy.

We don’t have to look at every time we are without a partner as gaps in between the way things should ideally be. For one, they are never ideal.

In fact, you are probably single because a lot of relationships you’ve had started out with an element of fantasy. They were blissful at first.

But it turned to be BS.

The fact that they ended in tatters is a tell tale sign that we exist in a culture that overlooks the obvious fact that being in a relationship is by no measure an ideal towards which to aspire. If you do find an amazing person with whom you are madly in love with, great. Let it happen on it’s own, rather spend your life racing somewhere when all there ever will be is the Now moment.

How about we stop draining our energy trying to find someone to fill a gap in our lives while we live in limbo until this fantasy manifests?

Just our two cents, no shade to those in love of course!


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