The Essential Nude Book: 5 Lessons from Pulane’s Nude Leaks

Move over Kim and Solange, Pulane Lenkoe has managed break the internet without breaking a sweat. Now 27 000 followers stronger, a picture depicting her in full frontal nudity hit the socials earlier this week in what was first believed to be nude pictures of Flabba’s girlfriend, Sindi Manqele.

Sindi received R10 000 bail on murder charges for allegedly killing the rapper a week ago, and someone evidently thought they were laying the first nail on what would have been the first coffin. Some angered fans do want to see her suffer.

It soon emerged the pics were of a woman named Pulane Lenkoe, who has remained silent throughout her heavy trending this week. While her nude photos, presumably meant for private use, have sparked a life on their own, we have been forced to look at our selfies ourselves. What if you are next?

Don’t include your face in the nude:

The most important rule to the art of nude selfie taking is to never include yourself in the pic (We won’t say duh!). Because, leaks happen everyday and you might be the next victim. In the unfortunate case when that does happen, at least your face will not be all over these timelines being changed for all to see (and touch. Eurgh!).

Granted, some of us will be able to notice some body parts we have seen before but still, the damage shall be minimal. Next

Don’t keep them on your phone:

Because really, chances are you are not the only one with access to your phone at one given point or another. Have you seen how people jump straight to the pics when they have your phone in their hands?They shall be found and bluetoothed away to riskier places.

Watch who you send them to.

The only time you should conduct your chat life mxitly is in a throwback conversation about how slutty we once all were back in history. Otherwise, only send your selfie to the most trusted members of the community. Like, people who cannot afford to have you retaliate with say, a nude of them you have kept safely. You know?

Focus on body parts.

Look, some people know your body. And you know this. Featuring your whole body with these tattoos, butt dimples and other things in full view is not the way. Even if your face is missing in the action, as it should, you will be FOUND.

Beef up the security!

Keep your dirt under wraps using the hardest measures possible. Password protect on top of fingerprint access on top of the pattern thing on top of a prayer on top of what ever else. Just, make sure…

Or maybe just don’t take them at all…

In modern culture, this would be the closest thing to celibacy. But then again in the world of rampant STD’s and other things, this would be the closet thing to abstinence. Save yourself the heart attack later and just refuse. Say NO. You might find it harder to keep things spicy but at the very least you won’t be joining a nude body count of victims.

To wrap this insight, we want to stress that we condemn these leaks in the strongest terms. The malicious cow behind it all should be exposed. The milk has spilled though so let’s grab some lessons.


BREAKING:

After maintaining silence through out the whole controversial leak, the law student has spoken out about the whole thing to Timeslive. The girlfriend of Orlando Pirates midfielder Thandani Ntshumayelo told the wesbite that she is embarrassed about this cataclysmic invasion of her private life.

“I don’t want to deal with this”, she said. “I just want it to go away. I wish I could just wake up and somebody tells me it’s just a dream.”

Lenkoe also mentioned that she is a religious girl and the photo has painted a very negative perception of who she is to the public, adding that “Good Friday I don’t want people looking at me like I’m some whore.”

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